Some girls need to shut the fuck up with calling girls sluts. If a girl wants to wear a tank top let her. If a girl wants to wear shorts let her. If a girl wants to wear a tube dress let her. If a girl wants to wear a crop top let her. I’m so sick if girls being so rude and calling other girls sluts just because they wear clothes and perhaps look pretty so you call them sluts. Get the fuck over it and mind your own damn business.
if you get a group of at least five people between their late teens and early/middish twenties and have one of them quote spongebob squarepants i swear to god they can kill half an hour at minimum just quoting random and often unrelated spongebob snippets back and forth at each other nigh verbatim without any other conversation, this is basically science
how do i ask a boy out
roses are red
violets are blue
guess what, my bed
has room for two
OH MY GOD NO
twinkle twinkle little star
we can do it in a car
row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
i can make you scream
That last one sounds more like a death threat
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
So my university had a ‘stress-free resort’ station set up today to help students combat the stress of finals week.
There was a coloring table
complete with Lion King coloring books
There was a lego table
also, free massages.
This is the most wonderful thing that ever happened in four years of college.
Our school should do this
ALL schools should do this…
today these two kids in my math class were hitting each other with pencils and my teacher glared at them and said “could you try to be a little more mature?”
one of them screamed “TAXES” and punched the other kid in the face
it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob
what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob
Because we have vaginas
my mom and I got into an argument one time and then we started getting really emotional and she said “Obama means family” and I swear I never cried so hard in my life
WAIT IT’S SUPPOSED TO SAY OHANA NOT OBAMA THE PRESIDENT ISN’T PULLING MY FAMILY TOGETHER
what do you call a message sent by a girl?
i got 7 messages saying this joke is offensive & that i’m the reason feminism exists
you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink
Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.
My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
I looked it up b/c that was a very familiar idiom and how could it be wrong but then
yeah wow that’s spot on perfect